Met the Limadanglians a couple of days back and had a good chat…mostly about Ben’s incident with some friends… Won’t be babbling about it here as everything had been released in Ben’s blog instead Anyway, Ben reminded me that I hadn’t updated my blog for 7 months now… sorry lovely blog~ You’ve been neglected for wayyYyyyYyy too long…

I am in a very down mood right now.. A lot of things that have happened totally changed my view towards life..So much in me but I didn’t have the courage to blurt everything out..till now. Actually didnt want to touch this topic on ‘friendship’, but when Benny brought up the topic…I just had to say what’s been bothering me…

Shit happens. Thats what I would normally say when things have gone bad. In some ways, saying that would actually comfort myself.  Well, recently, the friend that had been by my side for nearly a decade now, the friend whom I cherished throughout the years have hurt me in the most unexpected way. When it happened, eventhough I said to myself ’shit happens elaine.. just get through it’.. I just couldn’t get myself back into 1 piece..

Friends are everywhere. I have many friends. I have friends from all over the place. But true friends? How many true friends could one have? I do realise that I am still young, that there’s so many things awaiting me in the future…A bad incident now should teach me to be a better person for my own good. Throughout these years, I have had friends who ‘back-stabbed’ me for so many times and some r still friends and some we’ve parted our own ways… Having gone through that, I thought that this very bestie that has been by my side for a decade now would be the one who understands me most. I thought she would be the one who would back me up if things went wrong…yes She’s been there…She’s been there for me, she’s been there for me whether it was good or bad..she was there… But what happened recently really broke my heart…

To you..

I don’t know if I could tell you this face to face and that’s why I’m letting it all out here..

How could you? Of all the people in my life, you? The friend that I cherished and trusted most? I love you so much you do know that. It broke my heart the moment I found out that all those time that I was trying to find out about the truth, it was you all along. When people mentioned your name, sayin that you could be the one who would spread out the news, I backed you up. I BACKED YOU UP. You know why? Coz that’s how much I trusted you. Every single day that I called you and talked to you about the incident, you listened patiently. When I mentioned about whom I suspected, you acted innocently. Why didn’t u just be honest with me back then?!?!!? Why wait until matters have become this big?! Girl, if it hadn’t for him to have forced situations into making you tell me the truth, could I ask you this now? Until when were you going to deceive me? Until when were you gonna make me the most idiotic person ever lived? Because I trusted you so much, because I was so blinded by the trust that I have towards you, relationships between me and other good friends have turned sour. Do you know how humiliated I felt? I was so humiliated towards them that I felt like kneeling down and say sorry for even having those thoughts about them. And you? All you could say was.. sorry..sorry cause you didn’t mean for it to happen. Girl, I am totally devastated. I truly am. All those while, ALL THOSE WHILE! Anytime of the day.. ANYTIME..A-N-Y-T-I-M-E!!!!!!! Anytime you could have confessed to me. It hurt me when you said that you didn’t have the guts to open up to me, and that you didn’t have the guts to confess about it. Between you and I…has there been any secrets before?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!? We’re so close! Even embarrassing moments pun we could share with each other… But why this??!?!?! You said you didn’t have the guts to?!?!?! I thought you knew me best! Why did u wait until matters had gotten this big? You hurt me in so many ways, do you realise that? I feel hurt, I feel embarrased, I feel lonely…I feel useless.. You got me big time..thank you for that…

 I am not mad at you. I really am not. I am just utterly disappointed. Don’t think that I am mad at you. What’s past is past. I have let things go.. Things don’t really matter anymore to me..

Friends come and go..I used to tell myself, I have many friends but I should treasure the good friends that truly understands me.. Now, I tell myself, friends are friends…You may call them your good friends, your bestie..your close friends and so forth..But in the end… they are..still..”FRIENDS”… Not much of a change, the word FRIEND is still there. So my point of view on friends, they are simply…friends whom I would treasure. To me, there would be no difference in the level of the friendship one could have. Every friend should be treated the same respect. So from now on. I treasure every single friend that I have…cause they are all equal to me…in my life.

If I could let bygones be bygones and not be mad at you at all, now I could forgive those people that have hurt me before this too… The friend that has hurt both you and I last time, I will let her know that I am doing alright now, and that I do not hold any grudges towards her anymore. Its this much of me I’m letting go, letting go of the anger and sadness within me… Every friend is the same.. All of my friends are equal from this moment on…

Well guys, I feel so much better now.. My blog is the one place I could really say what I needed to say.. sigh… Enjoy this song by Thousand Foot Krutch called ‘WISH YOU WELL’

This is gonna be a short one. Just wanted to release how I’m feeling right now…

I am not the kind of person that likes to hold grudges towards anyone. But I guess it’s normal for one to dislike others. Be it because the person stepped on your tail or his/her behaviours are simply annoying. To dislike someone not in a bad way is normal, yeah.. But I’ve never been the kind of person that would actually hold grudges towards anyone. Cause I think that to actually have hatred in you is very tiring and isnt a good feeling at all. But there are few exceptions though.

After that ‘incident’ that had happened, I truly wished that I would never have to see your bloody face again. And what are the odds, last night after deciding to have bakkutteh after so long, I actually saw YOU. How dare you. How could you still be smiling, walking around with a new guy after what you have done to my late friend. Did you shiver when my late friend’s bday came up last week? Did you visit the grave? or could it be that you don’t even remember his birthdate? I saw that look on your face when you saw me.. I know how you felt, guillty conscience? hah?! I’ve never had the chance to, but if I did, I would slap you so hard, for what? I dont even know if its worth it to have my hand on your face. Cause you might dirty it. But that slap would be for the pain that you had given my dear friend and for everything that you have caused between all of us. I believe in KARMA. You may not get what you deserve now, but I’m pretty sure God will show his ways…

I’ve had these thoughts running in my head for quite sometime now though I’ve never really ‘voiced’ out my opinions thoroughly. But after having lunch with Benny yesterday, we actually discussed about the Mr. Eligible Bachelor contest amongst other beauty pageants being held in clubs. I couldn’t help but blurt out what I had in mind and I really did so. We had a long discussion over this and then Ben suggested that I just blab about it in my blog, so I thought, why not? lol

Ok guys, before I proceed, whatever I would be saying soon has no intentions of condemning anyone or any companies or so on. It is just solely based on my own opinions kay???

I’m pretty sure you guys have heard of the Mr. Eligible Bachelor contest being held on every Wednesday in one of the prestigious clubs in KK. Next week is the finals where apparently this year’s MR. ELIGIBLE BACHELOR is going to be selected. People, people…. come on, when you hear the word Bachelor, what comes into your mind? I’m sure some people think that the guy needs to only be good loong. Period. Is that it? Then probably the contest should be named ‘Mr. Hunk or Mr. Beautiful or even Mr. Call me Handsome’ ….

GrrrRrrr, okay I truly understand if the tagline is part of the marketing side or something, to attract people to come and watch the contest while spending tons of cash on the drinks. I know my thoughts might differ from people’s opinions but I really need to get this out of my lungs….. What actually happens during the contest? The contestants come out looking ‘beautiful’ in every aspects, but do u actually know who they are? (unless the contestant is already your friend…) I mean, for example, how’s their background like, what kind of jobs do they have?, how’s their personalities like etc… Girls, if you were looking at several bachelors in front of you, guys with different looks and different personalities and success on their backs..which would you choose? Take this for an example:

1st Guy: Tall, Dark/Fair, Handsome, Awesome body & a slacker(having no job at the moment) or
2nd Guy: Moderately good looking, has a stable job, speaks 5 different languages, a graduate from Harvard University or
3rd Guy: Short & Plump, a neurologist with a PHD, charming & sweet personality, has properties in different continents of the world etc..

Which would you choose? For those who have seen the Mr. Eligible Bachelor contest before, have you seen any of the above characteristics in any of the contestants? I think that the contestants are mostly like the 1st Guy only. Some of the contestants I swear they look like those people that doesn’t have any Identification Cards here, how did they even get into the contest? Ok.. I wasn’t trying to be mean k.. just releasinggggg~~ The contest is purely on the looks only… where are the brainy ones? and who votes for the winner? By the louder cheer and screamings that they get from the crowd? Do they even judge rightfully? I bet that if 10 girls were given a paper wit the different characters and looks of the guys, each girl would have different opinions and all.

I honestly think its pure marketing strategy to attract people without giving serious consideration of what event they’re really doing. I hope these organizers would put more effort, more research of what event they’re actually holding. Put some sense into it!

Don’t let me start on the beauty pageants here. Ok I have nothing against that girls and all. Nothing against the organizers. Nothing against those event functions… I just have 1 thought on this. Why do those girls that never wins the First title keeps joining other different contests?? I know some people say ‘NEVER SAY DIE’, never quit until you get what you want… I could understand if you don’t win the 1st time, maybe you could try your luck the 2nd time. But what happens if you don’t win at all? Isn’t that clear enough? Who am I to judge the girls right, lain la if I were cantik or what, ini tiada2.. But its just my opinion… I wonder why some girls could join the beauty pageants for more than 5 times. Dari tia kenal jadi kenal because you keep seeing the SAME faces EVERYWHERE!!! People tend to get tired and bored of the same faces, so please do yourself some good, get out of it and just accept it that you are already beautiful enough having the courage to join the pageants. If you don’t win the first or the 2nd time, PLEASE STOP!!!!! WE NEED NEW FACES! That’s just me. Maybe u guys out there wont mind at all ya..

Ok.. actually there’s so much more to say but I think I’d better leave it here. I actually feel better after blurting this out. Once again, I’d like to say sorry if I offended anyone in any sense. It’s just me expressing my feelings….Thoughts to ponder….hehehehehehehehehehe

Having totally outdated from catching movies at the cinema..I finally got to watch IP Man last night….Note that the last movie I watched was Bedtime Stories, (hmm din seem that long right? Wrong!) Before Bedtime Stories, my last movie was Don’t Mess With The Zohan. How pathetic am I? Poor thing. Need to be catching movies often since now on…arghh

Okay anyway, I was at 1B last night to watch IP Man with sis Cindy & bro-in-law Ahfad & friend Colin.. Ahfad & Cindy were nice enough to ask me to go watch IP Man though they have seen it before with my parents.. (They double-date la kunun..cis)… But anyway, now I understand why Cindy said she couldn’t use the right words to describe the movie in her blog..Even I now am still thinking about the movie…the emotions showed by the actors, the storyline that showcased the Legend Yip Man and how the Chinese had to survive during the war with the Japanese.. and of course not forgetting the KungFu martial arts showed. The movie really touched me. Trust me guys, if you’re into fighting actions and all, this is the one for you. For emotional people such as me, tears dropped for like, few times? so do watch this.. Eventhough Cindy had told me earlier on and even during the movie on what was gonna happen, I still cried. HmMmMmm….

There were of course really funny scenes that really cracked me up. Scenes that made me laugh really made me laugh like nobody’s business, and scenes that made me cry really tore me apart.  The main actor Donnie Yen’s character really showed how rational, how he’s such a gentleman and a loyal husband who respects his wife so much that it makes you wanna hug him through the screen this. (Ok that sounded a bit weird, but u gotta watch to it to know what I mean..for girls la…) I have been a fan of the main actor Donnie Yen for quite sometime, plus oh so gorgeous Simon Yam (though he’s a bit “aged” ody but yes I still love himm)… and some hot looking Japanese guy who I swear really looks like Wentworth Miller.

The downside of the movie? ITS NOT ENOUGH!!!! I wished that they could’ve potrayed the Legend’s whole life in the movie, in which I know is impossible, cause knowing that making an epic 1 hour and 45 mins movie on a Legend is not possible. There is so much more to this legend and his Kung Fu martial arts that needs to be honoured…

Okay, I’d better stop here. Or else I’ll be yapping and yapping awayyy… For those who haven’t seen the movie, do watch it and you wont feel your time and money been wasted at all..  Do watch it. This trailer below shows how Donnie Yen got mad by watching another Sifu who had to fight the Japanese to win a bag of rice got shot on the head eventhough he had admitted defeat, plus another man who had previously died during the fight too that had forced him to use his kungfu to teach the Japanese a lesson. This battle is supposed to be a one on one fight and if the chinese wins, he would get a bag of rice. But notice when Donnie Yen went in, he challenged 10 guys to fight with him and in the end, he didnt take any of the bags of rice that he deserved, instead took the potato that he gives to his son everyday and the blood spat bag of rice to be given to the passed Sifu’s family.

Do enjoy..

I AM SOOOOOOOOOO darn pissed off right now. Today is the one Sunday that I took the time off to rest at home… plan to do a lot of catching ups with my blog amongst other things since I haven’t updated them for ages… and I planned to upload pics that I’ve been taking for the last few weeks… but… with dismay, somehow or rather I couldn’t have the pics uploaded…bloody memory stick.. bla bla bla bla bla… *@&&#^@&#^&@^#*@^#* I will find one more..’fine’ day to upload the pics again..

Just in case I don’t get to update the blog by Christmas.. I am taking this opportunity to wish every single one of you a Jolly Christmas and a Blessed new year… *Muaks*

Glitter Graphics at GlitterGeek.com

Hello peepss~~~~~~~~~ *muaks* *muaks* *muaks* *muaks* *muaks* *muaks* I could go on forever!!! Lolz… I miss my blog.. but I really couldn’t spare bit of my time before this so so so so sowiee dearest blogg

Oh yeaaa I would like to wish my good friend Nafy on his special day today, he and the wife bersanding today.. But I didn’t take any pictures coz apparently I had forgotten to bring my camera.. lolz… But with this guy, we go way back man.. so much history together.. hahaha Well just so darn glad and happy to see a good friend finally getting hitched and all! HAPPY FOR YOU NAFY & DEBBIE!!! *Muaks*!!!

Actually I have nothing interesting to talk about at all.. There’s so much to say and yet I don’t know how to put em in words for now.. Lolz… Anyhow, do enjoy this song… I’ve always been a Mariah Carey fan I really dislike if new version of songs are made.. But its different on this song. Never followed up with American idol and Bben listening to this song for quite sometime and I only saw David Cook’s pic few weeks back. Kesian? Outdated? that’s what I am. Anyway, he’s got a superb voice. Enjoy this song… LOVE IT!!!!! *muaks*

Will update very soon on things yea…..

I am in the office right now.. and feeling as weak as ever… This month itself I’ve fallen sick TWICE! I can’t stop coughing right now and my running nose is killing me. Good Lord please please pleaseeee I hate being sick…

Okay anyway, I wanted to share some ‘weird’ experience I had for the past few days…. Since Thursday till Sunday my nights were filled with ‘activities’ right up till the mornings…, (I think its the full chinese body massage plus the ‘ba kuan’ that made me sick too)… huhuhuhuhuh

Ok so anyway, I was talking to my good friend’s gf about their problems and all on Saturday night in Shenny.. and when I wanted to leave, ba I had to tell the people there and when I told the girls, we had pecks on the cheeks, as usual la kan.. my fren’s gf after giving each other pecks, she actually pulled my face to give me a long but normal kiss on the lips…..  Ok guys, it seems normal right? But then… I got really blur coz maybe im just not used to it? Weird…. this shows that I am truly STRAIGHT!!! arghhh

 Plus, last night I went for few drinks with my friend since he’s got some problems… Next table there was this ‘aunty’ who was just another guest there.. she had problems of her own too and she kept crying while hugging me… and guess what.. she kept saying I was nice and bla bla bla.. and then she kept kissing me too.. ON THE LIPS!!!! like 7-8 times? mati la… why.. why.. why.. Maybe its a normal thing la.. but Im just not used to it.. cis..

It is currently 12am (16/10/08,) and I stayed up till now to write this post for my bubbly and lovable sister, Cindy Jongiji~~~~For today is her 28th birthday and I want this to be specially for her…..(Plus My good friend Sharin’s bday is on today too!! HAPPY BRITHDAY SHARIN MY LOVE~~~!)

 Cindy, for all this while, you have been there for me through my ups and downs. You have always been the one who stayed by my side. Letting me be who I wanna be, being there even though you know I wasn’t at my best decisions in life… What could I ever ask for more from the heavens above?

Growing up together, sure there were tons of arguments, but look at us now. You are my sister and my best friend. Thank you for being you sis!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY! May God bless you always with love and good health forever! I love you sis! MUAKS MUAKS!

Its been awhile since I last updated my blog.. Couldn’t get myself into blogging. Its either work, rest or hanging out with my friends..

Actually I have nothing much to say…. Been letting it all out to friends lately about how I’m feeling.. Anyhow, the last few days have been an exciting one for me… Been out with the guys so much.. they’re getting into my head man. hahaha I never thought this bugger JiaYe (Roy) that I got to know from Rezan would get close to us this way…

Anyway, Rezan went back to Tawau yesterday. So we had lunch before he left. During lunch, Roy asked me to go for jogging with him at 4pm plus. I said no.. no and no.. Jogging is like, my least liked sports??….Come on.. I haven’t exercised for the past.. few years?!?!??! like YEARS??!?! U could bring me go for badminton or anything, but jogging?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Plus it was raining and all.. But okay anyway I did go.. Cut a long story short, after years of not exercising and actually running (more to walking) without proper warming ups.. my legs are now…’crying in pain’!!! The whole day, I felt uneasy at work, walking like a… geez you guys know what..When I told Roy, he called me ’sexy KETAM’..why sexy? Coz some old bugger kacau-ed me when I was walking alone in bkt padang…(Roy was done with his round and waiting for me at the ‘finishing line’ lol)…. why ketam? I actually dun know why he said ketam? Hmm gotta ask him soon..He said he’s anticipating for what animal I’m going to “transform” into next monday. So anyway, we were having an innocent conversation while sitting down talking bout life….when this came up…

Roy: Sundays seem to be a nice day to jog right? Like family day and all.. (Both looking at people around..)

Me: Yeah I guess so. (Bear in mind that I’m not a fan of jogging)

Roy: So ok. Set. Date is EVERY SUNDAY at 4pm k.

Me: (In full blast BLURRY mode) Huh? 4pm for what?

Roy: Jogging lo?

Me: You must be crazy! I dun like to jog and you want me to come at 4pm when its still so hot?

Roy: Ok..4.30pm then… (doing his silly face).

Me: Hmm..fine.. okay…

Roy: This set activity is a self-known thingy ok. We don’t have to remind each other. Just be here every sunday at this time. Who forgets on any given Sunday, that person has to stash out 2 bottles of Black Label.

Elaine: (In total shock) WAT THE?!?!?!?! You were the one who said its so ‘xin ku’[hard] to drink much.. and yet the penalty is to be buying 2 bottles? Crazy!

Roy: Look.. If ever you forget and you have to stash out such a large amount of money just because you’ve forgotten this activity, do you think that you’d ever forget the next time around?

Me: K. Point taken.

Good lord. Now I have to jog every Sunday. sigh….. But yea maybe I should be hitting on the healthy kind of lifestyle AGAIN…. the only thing that differs this time around is that, I would balance both fun and er healthy lifestyle at a time? lol… Hmmm Hopefully Cindy & Afad agrees to play badminton soon LOL

Ive been wanting to post the wedding pictures up..2 weddings by far but I dun know whats up with my mc card and all..I cudnt post d pictures up..next time ya..

Back to the title I posted up here..lately Ive been thinking bout life..so much that it worries me..People around me seems to have this rough and some even clear pictures of their future whereas Me? I mean I do have a rough picture of it, but lately its been ‘blurry’.. Its like I dont have a certain direction that I could follow. I told my mom about my plans after im done wit my practical here n mummy being understanding and all, is being supportive all the way. I know dad wont be happy but its still too early to say… Hopefully by the time im done wit my internship, I wud have a clearer mind..clearer goals..

I feel that life is so empty as it is. Seeing your loved ones and friends that are happy makes you think and evaluate your own life. At this very moment, I feel that I have too many missing puzzles in me.. I know there’s still a long way to go, but I just feel so empty..argh………..

ladidadidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa