Hello peepss~~~~~~~~~ *muaks* *muaks* *muaks* *muaks* *muaks* *muaks* I could go on forever!!! Lolz… I miss my blog.. but I really couldn’t spare bit of my time before this so so so so sowiee dearest blogg

Oh yeaaa I would like to wish my good friend Nafy on his special day today, he and the wife bersanding today.. But I didn’t take any pictures coz apparently I had forgotten to bring my camera.. lolz… But with this guy, we go way back man.. so much history together.. hahaha Well just so darn glad and happy to see a good friend finally getting hitched and all! HAPPY FOR YOU NAFY & DEBBIE!!! *Muaks*!!!

Actually I have nothing interesting to talk about at all.. There’s so much to say and yet I don’t know how to put em in words for now.. Lolz… Anyhow, do enjoy this song… I’ve always been a Mariah Carey fan I really dislike if new version of songs are made.. But its different on this song. Never followed up with American idol and Bben listening to this song for quite sometime and I only saw David Cook’s pic few weeks back. Kesian? Outdated? that’s what I am. Anyway, he’s got a superb voice. Enjoy this song… LOVE IT!!!!! *muaks*

Will update very soon on things yea…..

Oh my god. Its been weeks since I last updated my blog. I feel..so guilty? lol I know its nothing but yes, I am guilty over this! Guilty for not updating my blog! Sorry dearey! hahaha Anyway, I do have reasons of why I haven’t been updating my blog lately.

 Well to start with, I’ve started work. (Yes, Elaine is workin again). Actually, not exactly working since I don’t get paid. Lol..( sometimes I wonder.. If only I did my internship in Swiss.. I wud be getting Rm6K plus per mth..Well, need to minus the expenses n stuff)… But I didn’t regret my decision of coming back here, coz I was in the point of a serious breakdown, and I am happy being here!

 Okay, so… yes..I’m working right now.. so that explains why I haven’t been that free to update my blog.. The moment I reach home, I’d be so worked out…so tired…and if only there was nothing wrong with my laptop, at least I cud online from my bed..but..sigh…

 I will try to update my blog as often as I could… I will try.. Actually, I wanted to post up pictures of the wedding I attented 2 days ago, but its late right now and I need my rest..huhuhuhu oh………….(workin again tomorrow…)

Anyway, there’s something I needed to talk about here. Just to release some of my emotions… You know when someone/few ppl had hurt u so badly in the past, that the wound had never totally recovered though u think it had? Well I learnt that greatly 2 days ago. It was after attending my friend’s brother’s wedding, that we all headed to Bluenote for the ‘after party of the wedding’..Then I saw my ex’s family…From the brothers, to the uncle, to the aunt.. to the in law… Then it hit me.. I have always told my friends that I let bygones be bygones… and that the pain had recovered. I truly believe in the sentence ‘ forgiven but  not forgotten’, but seeing them, made me realize that.. there’s so much hurt in me… that I figured thats why I am, the way that I am. There are no words to describe how do I feel towards them, towards him. But if I were to ever face them, a single slap to him, or the in law, or whoever in that family, and without me saying a thing, would simply be enough for me.

Sigh I cant believe I said all that. I’ve never been the person who’s so full of anger…I somehow sounded as though Im so full of vengeance. But no. All this while I told myself I’ve forgiven them, well..that’s what I thought. But seeing them…I realized, I haven’t.

Only god knows what had happened and what I went through. Never had I imagined that what had happened before would ever happen to me. Forgiven but not forgotten… Have I really? Really forgave them? Now I dare say, No I haven’t. I hope I will never ever have to see them in my lifetime anymore. Especially him. Why was I so naive? LIARS! I hate hypocrites, I hate liars. I seriously do. Gosh, If i were given the chance to, I would really slap u. I have no words to say to u anymore but I would slap u. I would.

And there are other things that have been borthering my mind lately. And sometimes I wish I knew what to say and what to do. I wouldn’t want to offend anybody, let alone offend few people that I know. Sigh I wish I knew what to do. For now, I’d just go with the flow. Maybe that’s for the best.

 Ok.. now that I’ve released some of that tension, Im ready to go for bed now. And tomorrow will be a new day, as any other day! Will update soon, hopefully this time, with pictures, guys! tata~

Enjoy this song, I Learned From The Best by Whitney Houston.

Addicted to this song for quite sometime now…If one were in a club and this song came up… tsk tsk tsk… Enjoy… Lil Wayne- Lollipop!

Ok…So I was going through the songs that were included in my new phone memory card since my brother ‘cleverly’ did something outrageous on my previous card that totally screwed it up. While surfing through the new songs, bumped into this song, was about to delete it when I heard a guy’s voice came up… So there I was, lying in bed and listening to this song.. I know the song’s like yesterday’s news right..but it made me smile coz the lyric’s simply hilarious. ( and I forgot to mention plain silly.) Do enjoy… this is Irreplaceble by Ne-Yo

Heard this song from JiHee’s Ipod on the way back to the school… The song has a nice tune… and the fact that the girl has the same name as my 2nd name… lol… Do enjoy the song… Till It Happens to You by Corinne Bailey Rae

I know what I said
was heat of the moment
but theres a little truth in between the words we’ve spoken
its a little late now to fix the heart thats broken
please dont ask me where i’m going
cuz i dont know
no i dont know anymore

It used to feel like heaven
used to feel like may
I used to hear those violins playing our strings like a symphony
now they’ve gone away
nobody wants to face the truth
but you wont believe what love can do
till it happens to you
till it happens to you

went to the old flat
guess i was trying to turn the clock back
how come that nothing feels the same now when im with you
we used to stay up all night in the kitchen
when our love was new
oooh love im a fool to believe in you
cuz i dont know
no i dont know
anymore

It used to feel like heaven
It used to feel like may
I used to hear those violins playing our strings like a symphony
now they’ve gone away
nobody wants to know the truth
until their hearts broken
dont you dare tell them
what you think to do
till they get over
you can only learn these things
from experience
when you get older
I just wish that someone would have told me
till it happpens to you
till it happens to you
till it happens to you

Had a conversation earlier on with Mr. Curang a.k.a Benny..( although now he said I cant call him Mr.Curang ody… hmm..) He was singing few songs…Was it to cheer me up… or sindir-sindiran.. I don’t know.. but he did make me laugh.. thanks Ben.. the poem u gave me ( which u read it DRASTICALLY), the songS you sang ‘LIVE’… everything..thanks. One of the songs that he sang… was this one particular song that I used to sing back in kk.. one of my favs as well.. I told Ben that my scar…the ‘luka’… he made it worse coz Ben is like a bottle of Vinegar… spilled the ‘cuka’ on my ‘luka’… Hey ben.. that rhymed! maybe I can make a pantun for u now! KA!! But thanks Ben for being a great friend!

Enjoy this song guys… Bukan Diriku…-Sams0ns-

All the feelings lately that I have been trying to ‘cover up’…by doing a lot of things to make myself occupied so as not to think much backfired me last night… Everything got to me and it totally broke me down.. I have been really tired I suppose… thinking about everything else really got to me… So today have been bad for me… classmates been wondering what’s with the sad & tired look….eyes are droopy and even my smile seemed faded… I honestly think so too… Hmmm…. Just releasing myself out now… Maybe I will get myself some drinks tonight after a group meeting… and just sleep… drink and sleep….that’s my best ’sleeping’ medicine now I guess… Drinking once in awhile isn’t bad right… Not always…

Babies! Girls! Babes! I’m in need of you! Remember how we would go out each time any of us would have problems? I miss those times.. I miss you guys… I really miss you guys… sigh…. I feel…weak…..

This town is colder now, I think it’s sick of us
It’s time to make our move, I’m shakin off the rust
I’ve got my heart set on anywhere but here
I’m staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel…
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal… for the life I leadStop and stare
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you’re ‘here’ not there
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair
But fair ain’t what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

There would be times in life where you would get hurt and you tend to hurt other’s feelings too. I’ve hurt and been hurt before, and when you’ve been through these kinds of feelings, you would be afraid to start on a new relationship. As for me, I am afraid. Always afraid of the hurt one could get. Yes being in a relationship would give one, happy and sweet memories too.. but.. Am I a believer? Yes I am.. that’s why I never closed my heart for anyone, I always believed that there would be someone out there for me. I never anticipated, but I never closed my heart for love..

But for now, I think that I should not have started anything at all. The love’s there.. But I know I’m hurting him in so many ways. Why did I go beyond my own beliefs and went on with it? Why didn’t I follow what my head was telling me? Why didn’t I follow my rationalism? WHY IS IT THAT I ALWAYS FOLLOW MY HEART?!?!?!?!? Every single relationship, I always went with my feelings. **** I’m stupid. WHY!~?!?! Why didn’t I think of the consequences? Both knew what was coming but why did we go through it?

I am so sorry that I hurt you. I truly am… But I know you wont be hurt as much in the future.. I don’t want to prolong the hurt that we’re both causing each other.. Sorry…

Once again we sit in silence
After all is said and done
Only emptiness inside us
Baby, look what we’ve become
We can make a million promises
But we still won’t change
It isn’t right to stay together
When we only bring each other painChorus:
I don’t wanna cry
Don’t wanna cry
Nothing in the world
Could take us back
To where we used to be
Though I’ve given you my heart and soul
I must find a way of letting go
‘Cause baby, I don’t wanna cry

Too far apart to bridge the distance
But something keeps us hanging on and on
Pretending not to know the difference
Denying what we had is gone
Every moment we’re together
Is just breaking me down
I know we swore it was forever
But it hurts too much to stay around

All the magic’s gone
There’s just a shadow of a memory
Something just went wrong
We can’t go on make-believing

Been in and out of love so many times… whenever u get into a new relationship… you want things to be better…better than before.. so you give your best so that your other half will get the best.. you tend not to think about the past,not to compare.. But what happens if.. the person you are with now, did something that is reminding you of what happened before? things that you are scared of.. hm.. just for thoughts…don’t want trouble anymore…so here it is people… just enjoy the song….The Trouble With Love is..

Love can be a many splendid thing
Has another joy you bring
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It’ll make you hear a symphony
And you’ll just want the world to see
But like a drunk that makes you blind
It’ll fool you every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Now I was just a once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I’ve got it all
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This set story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

The trouble with love is (the trouble with love)
It can tear you up inside (it can tear you up in side)
Make your heart believe a lie (Make your heart believe a lie)
Gets stronger then your pride
(The trouble with love is) See your heart its in your soul
(It doesn’t care how fast you fall) You wont remember control (?)
(And you can’t refuse the call)
See you’ve got no say at all
The trouble with love is (Oooo….ya)
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie (the trouble with love..)

Was sitting at the bar the other night,having some drinks to get me to sleep…whilst doing nothing.. this song came up since the night was still early… what caught my attention was her voice and the lyrics of the song.. it made me turn around to look at the t.v screen..Leona Lewis..this babe’s gorgeous and she’s only 22…I read some articles on her..seems that she won the X-factor or something…n is mentored by Simon Cowell.. so she must be good…knowing the fact that Mr Cowell is always so hard with his criticism. I couldn’t post up the original Video here.. but found her performance on my favorite tv show..The Oprah Winfrey show…hehehehe…Enjoy the lyrics… I love the song… meaningful…“Bleeding Love”

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothings greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love